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June 2018

Jun 11, 2018 66,667 notes

heyimshelly:

timetravelrabbit:

it’s literally considered inhumane to deny our worst criminals food and shelter but y’all wanna figure out if our homeless and impoverished population “deserves” it like 

child molesters are gettin’ three hots and a cot on your tax dollars and that’s fine but the starving single mother and her children down the street should just work harder bc god forbid your taxes go to them?

fuck y’all seriously

HERE YA GO

Jun 11, 2018 101,692 notes

beyonco:

hi boys who follow me how do i get boys to love me

Jun 8, 2018 232,834 notes
Jun 8, 2018 23,950 notes
Jun 7, 2018 187,951 notes

kagetsukai:

yournewapartment:

thesnadger:

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase. 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

  1. Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.
  2. Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
  3. Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!

Just like with many other parts of life, learn to say ‘no’ to people. You are important. Don’t kill yourself for another person, esp. if they are your boss.

Jun 7, 2018 207,025 notes
Jun 7, 2018 189,421 notes

gemike:

psychic-sara:

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

Jun 5, 2018 946,103 notes
Don't kill yourself, please.

breaking-dexter:

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

Jun 3, 2018 662,229 notes
Jun 1, 2018 10,823,615 notes
🍀 reblog the shamrock for good luck to be skinny in 2018
Jun 1, 2018 7,955 notes

republicansareahategroup:

tilthat:

TIL that in 1916 there was a proposed Amendment to the US Constitution that would put all acts of war to a national vote, and anyone voting yes would have to register as a volunteer for service in the United States Army.

via reddit.com

bring this back and suddenly capitalists don’t wanna go to war no more

Jun 1, 2018 91,609 notes

whatever-is-pxre:

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just kept saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him.
And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

Jun 1, 2018 725,804 notes

May 2018

May 30, 2018 124,935 notes

sevenpoints:

iidelirium:

captainragtag:

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue

BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER

“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT

“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY

May 30, 2018 919,721 notes

margiepm:

itsladykit:

theangriestlittleunicorn:

the-real-seebs:

the-rain-monster:

shrineart:

vampireapologist:

Honestly something that bothers me more than most things is having my compassion mistaken for naivety.

I know that another fish might eat this bullfrog right after I spend months rehabilitating it.

I know that turning a beetle back onto its legs won’t save it from falling over again when I walk away.

I know that there is no cosmic reward waiting for my soul based on how many worms I pick off a hot sidewalk to put into the mud, or how many times I’ve helped a a raccoon climb out of a too-deep trashcan. 

I know things suffer, and things struggle, and things die uselessly all day long. I’m young and idealistic, but I’m not literally a child. I would never judge another person for walking by an injured bird, for ignoring a worm, or for not really caring about the fate of a frog in a pond full of, y’know, plenty of other frogs.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But I cannot cannot cannot look at something struggling and ignore it if I may have the power to help.

There is so much bad stuff in this world so far beyond my control, that I take comfort in the smallest, most thankless tasks. It’s a relief to say “I can help you in this moment,” even though they don’t understand.

I don’t need a devil’s advocate to tell me another fish probably ate that frog when I let it go, or that the raccoon probably ended up trapped in another dumpster the next night.

I know!!!! I know!!!!!!! But today I had the power to help! So I did! And it made me happy!

So just leave me alone alright thank u!!!!

THIS.

I heard a story about this, a parable I guess.


There was a big storm and a ton of starfish were washed onto the beach, stranded much further up than they could get back and beginning to bake in the post-storm sunshine. A little girl was walking down the beach, picking up starfish and throwing them back into the sea. Some guy comes up and asks her what she’s doing. “Saving the starfish,” she says.

He looks around at the huge beach and the hundreds of starfish, and says “You can’t possibly save them all. I’m afraid you’re not gonna make much of a difference.”

She throws another starfish back into the ocean, and replies “It made a difference to that one.”

Yeah, I mean, we know we can’t change all the things. But have you ever noticed how much better life is when you’re around people who change things when they can?

Kindness is a choice. Even if it’s small, it’s worth it.

This is what I’m talking about, when I say that kindness and compassion do not equate with ignorance, stupidity, or naivety. Being cynical does not make someone more intelligent or more worldly. 

Kindness is not weakness.

Kindness is brave. Especially when you also know that your kindness might not be returned, may even be met with anger or cruelty. It’s reaching out with an open hand, knowing that it’s just as likely to be bitten as it is to be held. 

Kindness is hard. If you can’t find it in yourself to be kind, then fine. But don’t make it more difficult for those that can.

Reminds me so much of mini-prinz and his tales of picking up snails off the sidewalk 😊

May 30, 2018 191,238 notes

psychic-sara:

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

To anyone who says the post is a LIE, no. It’s an expiriment to see if it works. Or how it does when it does.

May 29, 2018 946,103 notes
May 29, 2018

beermosa:

y'all b taking advantage of people n treating them like shit just because u know they have a genuine weak spot for u and that’s really fucked up

May 28, 2018 53,553 notes

lunathemoonkitten:

moonlight-skinny:

weightlesscryptid:

I’m finally at 100.0lbs!!!

❣︎❤︎Reblog for good luck❤︎❣︎

please

I’m 95 but rebloginf for the good luck so I can hit 90 💕

May 28, 2018 6,012 notes

43ketchup:

not being really overweight but not being thin is a weird place because you never look quite as good as your friends and you’re in that spot that everyone tells you “you’re not fat!” but doesn’t want to say you’re thin and no matter if your weight shifts you always sort of look the same to yourself and in some situations you can hide your appearance but in others its alarmingly obvious, and buying clothes is like a luck of the draw as to if you’ll look thin or huge because it feels like there isn’t an in between 

May 28, 2018 82,241 notes
May 28, 2018 141,722 notes
May 28, 2018 22,546 notes

thewholesomehandbook:

Concept: I live in an old creaky cottage with three massive wolfhounds. I wear exclusively long, soft cotton dresses and scratchy sweaters. My glass-walled greenhouse is bursting with all manner of plant life, and the folks from the village come to me for little spells and herbal remedies. The air always smells like rain.

May 27, 2018 40,136 notes
May 27, 2018 44,312 notes

starvingandskinny:

this is really selfish but

why can’t mental illness be like any other kind of sickness where you go to hospital and your loved ones come and give you flowers and tell you that they love you and hold your hand and make sure you get better

why doesn’t that happen instead of awkward silences and embarrassing tears and messy bedsheets and a bunch of other stuff no one actually talks about

w h y

May 27, 2018 719 notes
May 26, 2018 143,346 notes

unorthodox-views:

ckascade:

rotg-fan-page:

xaramizomai:

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

Not risking it

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

May 26, 2018 1,312,254 notes

studying-like-a-champ:

tempestcaliban:

faranae:

blue-pixiedust:

woodelf68:

shipperqueen93:

iwadab-me:

boasamishipper:

lifelovebookssex:

cloningmycat:

kiokushitaka:

shrineart:

caitatonic:

sunflower-b-pondicus:

flutterjedi:

mixedy:

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE

I’m an adult.

Some shit about life, from a bonafide adult:

  • even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 
  • generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
  • just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
  • at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 
  • thrift stores
  • everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 
  • if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • 15% tip. 
  • the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 
  • no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.

  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • “The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
  • MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.
  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.


Also a general mutli-vitamin isn’t a bad idea and if you don’t get a lot of fruits or milk/sunshine in your diet you might want to get vitamins C and D specifically for daily use.

if you do accidentally lapse and put dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. that’ll clean it out (tip given to me by dorm custodian when roommate did the thing).

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

acetone, found in most nail polish removers, dissolves super glue.

YOU’RE ALL DOING GOD’S WORK BLESS YOU

Takes pictures, have prints made and put them in photo albums. Be IN the pictures, have someone take pictures of you and your friends. Get over not looking perfect in thw picture. Someday that friend might be gone and those pictures might be all you’ll have, you will want to be in them. I made that mistake with my best friend, i always felt weird asking for a picture together… he died of cancer January of 2014 and now i have no pictures of us together. Its my only regret in life.

This is really helpful, thank you all!

I’m the newest of new adults but I’m gonna throw these little tips in there. IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR: 

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

AAA or any other road side service is never a bad investment i swear. (try to mooch it off your parents as long as you can though) 

Know how to change a tire. You’re going to need to do it at some point in time and you can’t always rely on someone else to do it for you.

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help period. Life is hard, everyone needs help occasionally.

You can put a LOWER wattage bulb in a lamp that says it’s for a higher one, but don’t put a HIGHER wattage bulb in. Also, watts refer to the amount of electricity used. LUMENS refers to the amount of light put out, and can vary quite a bit between brands, even though the wattage is the same. Look for the one with the highest lumens unless you actually want a slightly dimmer bulb in a certain location.

Those dollar store batteries? Fine if they’re alkaline. “Heavy-duty” batteries, however, won’t last nearly as long.

You can microwave a hot dog and bun simply by wrapping them in a toweling for a minute, less if you don’t want them scalding hot.

Reblogging to save lives.

Two adulting (kitchen-related) tips from me!

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced)
1 cup warm water (think a hot bath)
1 ½ teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part)
2 ¼ cups flour
1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

(Also it’s ridiculous amounts of therapeutic to bake, for me anyway)

Being able to bake your own bread is pretty awesome, if you got the time for it. 

Reblogging in case of independence

May 26, 2018 1,289,010 notes

ink-phoenix:

redhead4eyes:

paper-storm:

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

Welp

It’s the same 50%

May 22, 2018 447,796 notes

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

May 22, 2018 167,865 notes
Concept: Sirius convinces the Marauders to do a “Family Portrait” in their animagus form.

winnie-the-patton:

vanscribbles:

killerqueen2319:

l0vegl0wsinthedark:

mezzoaribg:

wizardtowizard:

  • Except for Remus, obviously.
  • So Remus is the one human who has to go into the photographer and ask for the picture.
  • Remus is a mixture of embarrassed, exasperated, and amused.
  • “Hello, yes, I’d like to take a picture with my, er, pets.”
  • And this photographer is just astounded that Remus has these very manageable and obedient pets.
  • In all fairness, it’s a VERY good picture.

I want to see this picture

Me too tbh can some giving soul draw this

SOMEONE DRAW THIS PLEASE

only because you said please, although its a very shitty drawing

IT IS NOT AND JAMES HAS GLASSES!!!! <3 <3

May 22, 2018 18,846 notes

oxyconundrum:

““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””

— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)

May 20, 2018 231,594 notes
May 19, 2018 348,679 notes
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May 18, 2018 19,432 notes

cozyboy001:

g00dpoonanny:

datesanddamian:

thomasthetwinkengine:

blo:

psychic-sara:

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

BITCH I REBLOGGED THIS AT 4AM AND SOME FIT GUY FROM MY HOMETOWN SLID INTO MY DMS at 11PM LIKE GIRL HONESTLY iM

Can the miracle be that I actually fall asleep at a reasonable time

I’m starting to feel like that miracle is falling into a deep sleep and actually waking up rested. Bless this post.

It worked y'all

never reblogged one of these before I’ll let yall know if something happen tonight

May 17, 2018 946,103 notes

geoffrmsy:

dekutree:

tbh I don’t see the fuss about having waiters/waitresses not being happy and enthusiastic like I came here to eat I didn’t come here to be amused by employees as long as I’m getting my food and they’re not being blatantly rude I don’t see why y’all need to go on yelp to rank a restaurant 0/5 and have an outburst on why your waitress didn’t smile at you when she poured you water

this is pretty fucking important

May 17, 2018 283,158 notes

murderxbaby:

notanadult:

amuseoffyre:

aggrokawaii:

justsomeantifas:

my-username-is-classified:

justsomeantifas:

call me ignorant but i genuinely don’t understand why sports have to be split up by gender.

@ everyone in the notes talking about physical performance: if that were the case, then sports would be divided by physical performance. that’s a thing you can measure. that’s a thing that varies by individual. a weak man and a strong man would be an unfair fight in boxing/wrestling/MMA, which is why they divide those sports up into weight groups based on physical performance. but they also further segregate them based on gender. chess is segregated by gender for no reason but sexism. if it’s actually about skill and physical ability, then measure those and separate people by those metrics. don’t do some bullshit gender segregation and pretend like men and women are inherently on different levels no matter their individual abilities.

💅

Remember that time a teenage girl struck out Babe Ruth? That’s fucking why. Men are afraid of being beaten by women.

Remember that time male swimmers were pulled out of training because Kate Ledecky was leaving them ‘broken’ by swimming better than them? Remember how she didn’t even notice, because she was busy actually training?

Shooting is a sport that has no reliance on strength and so any allowance for gender variation is irrelevant.

The last time there was a mixed competition (1992) a chinese woman named Zhang Shan won it.

It’s often presented as for the benefit of women. After all, they’ll be heartbroken when they‘re hurt or bested by men.

Projection is a hell of a drug. 

May 15, 2018 141,653 notes

thequeenofsunflowers:

wellyfullofale:

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

May 15, 2018 389,409 notes
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May 15, 2018 303,290 notes
May 14, 2018 37,214 notes
May 14, 2018 31,966 notes

odinsblog:

natayio:

“So you’re just gonna cancel and unfollow everyone who supports Trump?”


Me:

May 13, 2018 46,889 notes

towakeupthinner:

hope-thy-nope:

blightout:

you-wanna-fight-bro:

cincodemayonaisee:

blightout:

glitter-cyclone:

yourlgbtfriends:

blightout:

blightout:

cisnowflake:

cincodemayonaisee:

WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY


Apparently people have been adopting dogs and either killing them themselves or dropping them to a kill shelter (and one even said they were flying them to poor Asian areas to be eaten) under the Twitter hashtag #pitbulldropoff


This is completely cruel and evil and word needs to get around about these demons so everyone knows what these demons are planning to do to dogs once they get ahold of them.

If you know someone or if you yourself is planning to give away a pitty by craigslist soon, DONT and wait for awhile!!!! They act like they’re going to adopt them and act all nice then they get rid of them, don’t be fooled!!


DM me for uncensored names!!!!!!!!

Someone should tell these people I will fucking end them.

What the actual fuck?!? This is outrageous and disgusting!

BOOST THIS even if it doesn’t match your blog theme please

This may not be lbgt related but I couldn’t not reblog it to here. This blog is a platform that gives me a voice and I’m using it. Spread this. please.

The reason these “demons” are killing pitball puppies is because of how many children/babies pitbulls have killed

Every single breed of dog has the potential to kill. Every. Single. One. I have encountered far more violent dalmatians, chowchows, chihuahuas, and others compared to pitbulls. You are disgusting if you think the reported pitbull attacks can justify killing off an entire breed you vile excuse for a human being. 

I am a veterinary science major who has studied many breeds and their behaviors and other traits. You don’t think labs have killed kids? That goldens haven’t? Pitbull attacks are the ones that are showed to media the most, while other instances of breeds attacking is kept on the downlow because of the appearances and stigmas around the breed. The main reasons for pitbull attacks? Their owners. Either they were abused or were not kept inside. Many attacks by dogs are also energetic excited pooches wanting to play but not knowing their strength (it’s how my doberman has left me scratched up).

 I have been attacked by chow mixes, labs, collies, etc, but never a pitbull. I have a pit and she has only ever saved my life MULTIPLE times. You can’t justify the murder of an entire breed.

Killing a breed won’t save kids, responsible dog owners will.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏^^^^^^^^

@blightout

Say it louder for the assholes in the back

KILLING A BREED WON’T SAVE KIDS, RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS WILL. 

BITCH WHAT THE FUCJ

Pitbulls are my favorite breed of dog. People need to stop labeling them as bad or dangerous. It’s the owner not the dog

May 13, 2018 110,352 notes
May 13, 2018 454,941 notes

norest4thaweary:

madamehearthwitch:

iwrotesomeofitdown:

africanaquarian:

africanaquarian:

so i guess activated charcoal lattes are the newest latte trend? for why? i hate to break it to y’all but unless you’ve ingested poison recently, activated charcoal has no real benefits. just stick to matcha [polyphenols/ antioxidants] and chai [antioxidants+anti-inflammatory]

also, if you’re on any important medications, and i know a lot of you are, don’t fucking drink these. charcoal doesn’t discriminate. it’ll render your meds useless and absorb them too as well as some other beneficial nutrients

^^^^ including hormonal birth control. Don’t fall for the charcoal bullshit. Stay safe.

We have definitely had this discussion before, but it’s worth having again.

And charcoal doesn’t just absorb meds. It just absorbs stuff. So all that healthy crap you added to your smoothie is just gonna get sucked right back up by the charcoal.

(yes I’m simplifying, no that does not make my warning useless)

It’s not even a delicious taste or anything.

May 13, 2018 46,990 notes

euphorbic:

All my love to those whose mothers have died.

All my love to those whose mothers are abusive or neglectful.

All my love to those who want to be a mother but can’t.

All my love to those mothers who’ve lost a child.

All my love to those who are mothers despite their wishes.

In short, all my love to those that find Mother’s Day to be painful.

May 13, 2018 45,971 notes
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May 11, 2018 17,094 notes
May 11, 2018 16,521 notes

derezzcartes:

*hears thunder* thor if thats u bitch i love u

May 11, 2018 267,666 notes
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